Mole Rat Consent Culture

Women may be queens here, but Consent is king. All of us have personal physical and psychic boundaries; some of us are more protective of those boundaries than others. ISNMR members respect those boundaries, as should any and all guests at our gatherings.

Assuring Maximum Comfort

In case you’re new to social nudity, strive to remember and take to heart these important guidelines:

1. Nudity is not sex.
2. Social nudity is not sexual nudity.
3. Overtly sexual activity is not the point—plus it can make others at the gathering uncomfortable.

It’s not that Mole Rats don’t enjoy sex, but that sex is not the focus of our gatherings. We want to enjoy each other’s company, in whatever environment, in whatever activity, without complications or coercion.

At burrow gatherings, no attendee is allowed to touch, photograph, or make sexual overtures toward anyone else, of any gender, without first obtaining their explicit and enthusiastic consent. Such overtures include comments of any kind on others’ anatomical features.

In any group setting, teaching and learning what is acceptable behavior is preferable to ejecting people for crossing the line. Persistent crossing of lines, however, is grounds for ejection. Those told to leave an event will not receive a refund of any admission fees. They will not be invited to future gatherings without first providing a sincere apology and a promise not to commit further infractions.

Members and guests should inform those who trespass personal boundaries that the offending speech or action is unwelcome. If the transgressions continue, members and guests should then ask a member to stand in solidarity with them.

Body-Positivity

Related to that, the philosophy of nudism/naturism includes respect for all body types, shapes, sizes, and colors. We do not merely accept this diversity; we celebrate it. Members and visitors are asked to refrain from making any negative comments about others’ bodies. This includes well-meaning utterances like

• Wow, you’re even more beautiful without your clothes!*
• You know, he/she/they could really benefit from losing some weight.
• Gee, [guest], you really should get naked like the rest of us. Try it! It’s so liberating!

* Want to offer a compliment? Ask first—e.g., May I offer you a compliment? (If the answer is no, be prepared to accept that answer.)

To Summarize

Here are the important takeaways from this page:

1. At ISNMR gatherings, members and guests will refrain from actions or speech that cause offense or discomfort other Mole Rats and guests. This includes unauthorized photography or videography, as well as sexually suggestive words and deeds and body-shaming, as outlined above. (Disparaging remarks and discrimination based on race, ethnicity, age, sexual orientation, gender presentation, disabilities, or veteran status fit in this category as well.)
2. If another attendee’s actions or speech cause you offense or discomfort, you are empowered and encouraged to tell them to stop.
3. If someone tells you to stop, then STOP!
4. If you don’t stop, one or more Mole Rats will tell you that it’s time to leave.